Family Matters

Hey Neighbor,

We’ve almost made it to the middle of February, unbelievable!

I don’t know about you,. but from where I’m sitting (and typing) January felt like a lifetime. Yes, it flew by quickly in some respects, but in others it felt like one tragic thing after another—from the Ukrainian Plane that turned out to be shot down in Iran, to the world losing NBA legend Kobe Bryant along with his daughter, budding basketball superstar, Gianna and seven others—there were times when it was just all too much for my heart.

Oh, my heart—that fragile organ—that I sometimes wish to encase in impenetrable armor, to keep it from being overwhelmed with feeling.

To be frank, my “heart” is the reason I haven’t been as active on the blog in recent months. My desire to authentically share this journey of “building” Findlay house left me feeling exposed, vulnerable and inadequate.

I was reading a devotional about creating (C.S. Lewis and the Call to Create on the YouVersion app if you’re interested) and saw this quote:

“Ever since Adam and Eve bit into the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden, we have been trying to cover up our sin nature, not with fig leaves, but with our accomplishments. We think that if we [FILL IN THE BLANK] we will be able to mask our human condition.”

It struck a nerve because it reminded me of why I started blogging in the first place.

It wasn’t to attract a cult following of readers. Or to position myself in a way that would make brands want to work with me.

It wasn’t about making blogging some grand accomplishment that I could hide behind to “mask my human condition.”

It was actually, quite the opposite.

It was for me.

Writing has always been a place where I could bare all and process my feelings. It’s where I’m free to be at my most human - flawed, imperfect and yet reminded that I am beautiful and loved.

For me THIS blog is not about covering up my human condition and sin nature, it’s always been about exposing it, in hopes that it would encourage even just one other person that it’s okay to not have it all figured out, to remind them that they are exactly where God intended to be at this time.

But I lost sight of that.

I began feeling the pressure of what blogging has become - needing to publish content like clockwork, having an impressive social media presence with a picture perfect feed.

And then came the fear of sharing too much of my human condition and being judged for it. (Questions that ran through my head: Am I setting myself up and making myself an easy target? What if I expose too much and make myself too vulnerable?)

And that compounded with feelings of inadequacy, because why the heck should I be putting anything out into the world, when clearly I don’t have it all together.

Photo by: Martin Adams

But at the end of the day the sum of all those things only added up to excuses.

So what? Let people think what they think.

As long as even one person leaves inspired to live inspired after reading a post, that’s more than enough!

So here I am once more, ready to share the ups and downs of life with you, as my husband and I try to make Findlay House a home for ourselves and a place of inspiration for others like yourself.

*** After such a long lead in, I’ll try to keep the rest of this post short and to the point.

One of my favorite New Year quotes is from Lara Casey:

“There’s nothing magical about January 1.”

So many of us come into a new year with such high expectation that we can leave the past completely in the past once we enter a new year, only to have it dashed within the year’s first few weeks.

If we’re honest, we know that there is some “baggage,” we have no choice but to continue to deal with even in a new year, until it is completely resolved. In such cases, we have to have a long-term mindset and consider that January 1, 2020 was not only the start of a new year but also of a new decade, and some things will take time. But rest assured that as much as things can change (for better or worse) in a year, they will change that much more in a decade.

How have you changed from 10 years ago?

And although long-term vision is critical, we also must live with one foot in the present as we attempt to put one foot in the future. We have to be present and make every second of our lives count, taking nothing for granted because any one of us can go from being on this side of heaven in one moment, to being on the other side in the next.

***

As I have ridden the emotional waves of growing another life inside of me, on a timeline that I had not planned for, and considered all that has been happening in the world, one lesson that has been engrained in my heart is this:

Family Matters.

And because family matters, we should make time for them as much as possible. Show up for them whenever possible. Let them know how much we love them as often as possible!

I had a baby sprinkle for baby number 2 and my family showed up for us!

A gaggle of love: 2 Moms. 1 Dad. 4 Sisters. 1 Brother-in-law. 2 Nieces. 2 Nephews. 4 Aunties. 6 Cousins. So so blessed!

It was family (Malachi’s Goddie) that convinced me a sprinkle for the baby was needed to celebrate.

It was family that came from far (New York, Kentucky, Central Florida, South Florida - I even had my cousister surprise me!) and near (Locust Grove, Snellville and our church family down the street) to celebrate with us.

The sprinkle happened during a busy weekend at church (MLK weekend) and after a long week of work (late nights to meet mid-month deadlines while Malachi slept), so I was exhausted. But the memories made that weekend were priceless.

To have our extended family buy plane tickets (some with a one day turn around!) and drive 7 plus hours just to be with us, meant the world to me!

I wouldn’t be giving you the whole story if I didn’t admit to being discouraged sometimes—and wishing we were closer to our parents and siblings and aunts and cousins—but I take great comfort in knowing, that just as they demonstrated that weekend, they are always there when we need them, and they are only one phone call away.

I also recognize God’s divine hand in providing us with amazing church family who genuinely love Malachi and who share in our joy as we prepare to welcome a new addition.

The picture above wouldn’t have been as nice and high quality without the love of one of Malachi’s fairy god fairies here (no typo), thanks Imani!!

We truly have been blessed!

“Family is more than blood. Families are made of those who you welcome in, souls joined for life by memories, those you can express vulnerability with, work to climb the highs and lows of life with, who you love with all your heart and who love you no matter what.” - Anonymous

As we each work to build our own house[hold]s, as we think long-term about the future, let us never forget how much being present and showing up for family matters!