Change Is Good.
May.
This is the month everything was supposed to change.
In fact, today, May 9, 2018 is my official due date.
But change doesn’t always go according to plan. It doesn’t always subject itself to our preferences, preparation, or the timelines of professionals.
Sometimes change seeks us out and overtakes you, whether we’re ready or not…
Change has come for me aggressively in the last 9 months.
If I did not believe that change itself was subject to an Unchanging GOD—Who always has a purpose and a plan— there probably would have been times when I would have drowned in all the overwhelm of transitioning.
In my time away from the blog, change has had many faces.
Yesterday, my son (I think that’s the first time, I’ve ever referred to him as my son...My baby? Yes. My pumpkin? Yes. My little one? Yes. But “son” is new for me) turned one month old.
It’s unreal. A beautiful dream realized and yet, still not fully comprehended.
God chose me to steward over another soul.
I get to partner with Danny to be wholly responsible for another life.
I grew a whole human inside me! And now he’s living and breathing earthside with us.
Talk about change!
Every day since he’s been born has been filled with change—
Change is watching my mother flawlessly transition to grandmother. Change is watching her with my son, her grandson, even as I type.
Change is pumping breastmilk while I watch them and type. (How’s that for multi-tasking?)
Change is not getting my day started until one in the afternoon, because my baby who was up most of the night and didn’t want me to put him down, still wanted nothing more than to be near mommy.
Change is mommy meaning me!
Change is making the ability to accept grace, and give grace, more willingly second-nature in my marriage. (And to be honest, I’m still really working on this one.)
This entire experience has been completely humbling.
I’ve have been reminded in multiple ways that I am Not in control, no matter how much I want to be, but the One who is—GOD—can be trusted. He has a perfect track record. He knows what He’s doing. He cannot fail. And He created me for this.
An example of being humbled:
Yesterday, I played myself. I thought Malachi (baby boy’s name) had a new night time sleeping pattern down and decided to not take any naps, because I banked on getting 4 uninterrupted hours of sleep.
Well, he turned the tables on me (and this isn’t the first time...overconfidence usually isn’t my problem, but then again I'm learning so much about myself in this experience). The pattern I thought was in place turned out to be nonexistent, and that meant, no sleep, for the both of us.
Change is pausing from typing to put on a wrap and wear Malachi, so he can nurse and get the comfort he needs as we work on overcoming this pesky tummy ache together.
Change is this blog post that turned out to be something completely different than what I planned to write.
Change is not publishing this post until the morning after (May 10), because LIFE.
Malachi is everything precious I don’t deserve, and yet God, according to His gracious will, has blessed me with Malachi's life. I will forever be grateful.
Change is often the vehicle God uses to propel us towards our destiny. It’s a tool He uses to shape us into the person He created us to be.
Although uncomfortable at times, and sometimes completely unexpected - in the words of the wise baboon Rafiki (Lion King reference) -
